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Kink, the what, how and why explained

By Coby Baker

Kink, the what, how and why explained

Howdy, folks! I'm Coby (she/her), a sexology student living and playing on Boonwurrung land. Today, I'm diving into the world of kink because, let's be honest, it is fascinating and exciting and I am all about helping you add some spice to your sex life.


So, what exactly is kink? Kink encompasses a wide array of unconventional and adventurous sexual practices, ranging from role-playing to BDSM, power dynamics, and fetishes. Most importantly, it emphasises consensual engagement between informed and willing adults.


Why introduce kink into your sex life?


Enhanced Communication: You have to speak openly about desires, boundaries, and expectations when you engage in kink. This level of communication and understanding between partners can spill over beyond the bedroom, deepening the connection. You may be able to understand and communicate with each other better.


Increased Intimacy: Trying out new and adventurous activities can bring you and your partner closer. Sharing those experiences, embracing vulnerability - it all creates lasting bonds and deepens emotional connections.


Stress Relief: Engaging in consensual kink activities can serve as a means of stress relief. The intense focus required during these experiences offers an escape from daily worries, allowing individuals to be fully present in the moment.


Excitement: Introducing kink into your sexual repertoire injects excitement back into your intimate life. It disrupts routine, introducing novelty and unpredictability, revitalising the overall experience. I am a firm believer in play, and kink provides an avenue for adults to explore creativity and playfulness that is often overlooked.


Exploration of Desires and Fantasies: Kink is this safe haven where you can explore and fulfil desires without any judgement. It encourages you to embrace and express fantasies, bringing them to life in a consensual space that you and your partner create together.


So, you want to incorporate kink into your sex life, what do you do next?


Communicate! Initiate a frank discussion with your partner about your desires and boundaries. Establishing open communication is crucial for a positive and consensual experience. You won’t know if they’re into it until you ask, you might be pleasantly surprised.


Educate: Research and educate yourself on the specific kinks or activities you are interested in. There are so many kinks out there, you are likely to find something that turns you on. Understanding the nuances and safety measures for each individual kink is essential for a fulfilling and safe experience.


Start Slow: Ease into the experience with less intense activities. This builds trust with your partner and avoids overwhelming situations. Try some dirty talk, smacking your partner's bottom during sex, or tie your partner's hands above their head and glide a vibrator along their body.


Safety: Always prioritise safety by establishing a safe word to serve as a clear sign that you want the activity to stop immediately, and having safety supplies (such as scissors for restraints) within easy reach.


Incorporating kink into your sex life can be a fun and wild ride if you approach it with open communication, a bit of education, and a focus on safety. It can really spice up your sex life, deepen intimacy with your partner and bring a whole lot of excitement into your relationship!


Until next time @cobybakersxology