A First-Timer’s Guide to Buying a Sex Toy Later in Life

Because pleasure doesn’t have an expiry date.

For many women, the idea of buying their first vibrator or pleasure product doesn’t happen in their 20s — and that’s perfectly okay. In fact, more women than ever are exploring sexual wellness later in life. Whether you’ve recently gone through menopause, come out of a long-term relationship, or simply decided it’s your time, investing in your pleasure is an empowering act of self-care.

But let’s be honest: buying your first toy later in life can come with a few anxieties. Where do you even start? What if it feels awkward? What if you’ve never talked about this stuff before? Take a deep breath — we’ve got you. This guide will walk you through overcoming those nerves, making confident choices, and finding the perfect toy for you.

Why It’s Never “Too Late” to Explore Pleasure

Bodies change over time, and so does our relationship with pleasure. Menopause, hormonal shifts, or simply a busy life can all affect libido and sensation — but pleasure remains an important part of wellbeing at any age. Masturbation and sexual exploration can help:

• Boost circulation and natural lubrication

• Support pelvic floor health

• Reduce stress and improve sleep

• Reconnect you to your body on your own terms

So if you’ve been curious but hesitant, consider this your permission slip: pleasure is for you, right now, exactly as you are.

Overcoming First-Timer Nerves

It’s common to feel shy, embarrassed, or even overwhelmed by the idea of buying a vibrator. Here are a few ways to ease those worries:

• Ditch the shame: Pleasure isn’t dirty, it’s natural. Remind yourself that this is no different from buying skincare or a good moisturiser — it’s self-care.

• Start privately: Online shopping gives you time to explore at your own pace, no awkward shop moments required.

• Ask questions: Brands like That’s The Spot are here to make the experience stigma-free, friendly, and fun. Our product descriptions are written with real women in mind — no industry jargon, no intimidation.

• Know your comfort zone: You don’t have to go from zero to “wild” overnight. Starting small and simple is often the best (and most enjoyable) way.

Beginner-Friendly Recommendations

If you’re dipping your toes into the world of pleasure products for the first time, look for toys that are approachable, versatile, and easy to use. Here are a few favourites:

• Lil Bud: A compact, soft-touch external vibrator that’s as cute as it is effective. Ideal for gentle clitoral stimulation without anything too overwhelming.

• Bestie: Our very own golden gal! Bestie's slender design makes this toy an inviting option for exploring internal and external stimulation. This is an easy-to-operate toy that will move at your pace.

• Dos Amigos: For those curious about exploring a bit more, this versatile vibe offers both internal and external stimulation in a sleek, body-safe design.

All of our toys are made with body-safe materials and come with clear instructions — no confusing buttons or complicated settings.

How to Prepare for Buying Your First Toy (Later in Life)

Here’s a quick checklist to make your first purchase smooth and stress-free:

1. Reflect on what feels good
   Think about what kind of touch, pressure, or sensation you enjoy. External? Gentle? Deep? There’s no wrong answer.

2. Set your comfort level
   Decide if you’d prefer something external (clitoral) to start, or if you’re open to internal stimulation too.

3. Consider your lifestyle
   If discretion is important, choose something compact and quiet. If you like a ritual, maybe a toy with multiple settings suits you.

4. Read real reviews
   Customer reviews are gold for understanding how a toy actually feels to use, especially from women in a similar stage of life.

5. Look after your toy
   Add a toy cleaner and a good water-based lubricant to your cart. Lube can make a world of difference, especially if dryness is a concern post-menopause.

6. Give yourself permission to explore
   There’s no “right” way to use a vibrator. Try different settings, positions, and rhythms — this is your time to experiment without pressure.

The Bottom Line

Buying your first sex toy later in life isn’t a “late start” — it’s the beginning of a new, empowering chapter. Your pleasure matters, and it’s never too late to discover what makes you feel amazing. At That’s The Spot, we’re here to make it easy, stigma-free, and a little bit cheeky — just the way it should be.

Ready to find your perfect match? Start exploring here.